
Self-confidence-like being rich – it is something we think
everyone else is but us. Yet feeling insecure about ourselves is perhaps the
most common problems of humanity.
Written By Stacey Chillemi
Self-confidence-like being rich – it is something we think everyone else is but
us. Yet feeling insecure about ourselves is perhaps the most common problems of
humanity.
The majority of people in society think, “You have to be born with it.” This
is not true. You can learn how to be confident, just like learning how to cook
or drive a car.
Self-confidence all boils down to how we feel about ourselves. Our
self-confidence develops and is affected from the moment we are born, to how we
are raised and things we experience during our lifetime. Many of us tend to
judge how well we our doing in life by what society thinks it is right or what
the people who center our life think.
We all have standards and expectations that we all tend to try to live up too.
If we do not meet up to our standards, which most of us do not, our
self-confidence begins to slowly decline. Many of us try to have unrealistic
standards that we try to live up too and we tend to lose sight of the fact
that we cannot be perfect.
We need to accept ourselves, love ourselves and be happy with who we are as
people. We were valued for just being people, for just being in this world.
We often believe we must continually try to prove to other people that we are
worthy of them or on the same level as them. We often spend too much time doing
that and we lose sight of the fact that we are fine just the way we are and that
the only person that needs to be happy with them is themselves even though we
are not perfect people.
People think that once they lose their self-confidence that they cannot regain
their confidence back or that it will be too hard for them to accomplish. This
is not true. It may take time for you to become self-confidence in your self,
but you can regain your confidence again once you overcome your insecurities
it’s less likely that you will lose your self-confidence again. Through my, “10
step plan”.
In order to gain self-confidence you need to believe in yourself. If you
believe in yourself then you can succeed in anything you put your mind to. You
may not succeed the first time you try, but you have to keep trying until you do
succeed. Quick success does not exist in our society.
Achievements only come to those who strive hard to get them. You get nowhere in
life if you do not push yourself. You need to create a lifestyle that is right
for you and nobody else. Do not settle for anyone else's lifestyle or for a
lifestyle that is beneath your standards.
To make this happen, you must learn to accept who you are, be proud of the
person you are. Only then will you feel your self esteem rise up to the skies’!
Now onto the 10 steps to self-confidence.
1. Start with writing a journal.
Ask yourself what is making you feel like you cannot get to the point in
life you want to reach. Write any thoughts that come to mine. Also, write down
what self-confidence means to you.
2. Remember the past is over; you can only change the future.
Write down 10 positive things about yourself. Go through your journal and look
at all the positive things about yourself. Concentrate on your strengths.
These are the reasons you should love yourself and have high self-esteem and
self-confidence in yourself. Give yourself credit for everything positive you
have written about yourself. Remember, you are somebody special.
3. Accept yourself and learn to love yourself for whom you are a person.
Everyone has his or her own unique qualities and characteristics. We are all
born differently for a reason. Do not compare yourself to others.
4. Understand yourself mentally, physically and spiritually.
Take some time to
relax by yourself in a quiet room... Rest on your back with head and neck
comfortably supported
Rest hands on upper abdomen, close your eyes and settle in a comfortable
position. Breathe slowly, deeply and rhythmically. Inhalation should be slow,
unforced and unhurried. Silently count to four, five or six, whatever feels
right for you. When inhalation is complete, slowly inhale through the nose.
Count this breathing out, as when breathing in. The exhalation should take as
long as the inhalation. There should be no sense of strain. If initially, you
feel you have breathed your fullest at a count of three, which is all right. Try
gradually to slow down the rhythm until a slow count of five or six is possible,
with a pause of two or three between in and out breathing.
5. be ready.
Self-confidence comes a lot easier to the person who is sure
their ready.
6. Strengthen your inner self.
Write down in your journal what you will be
able to do once you acquire the confidence you need.
7. Begin changing what you do not like about yourself.
Confidence comes from
within. You need to concentrate on the positive things about yourself.
8. Notice the change in our self-esteem and self-confidence.
Reward yourself
each time you do something that makes you feel proud...go out some place or take
it easy for the day.
9. Learn how to give and take.
Confidence is being able to find a balance
between giving help to people and excepting when we need help.
10. Have a tremendous amount of pride in yourself.
Remember, you are number
one!
RESOURCE BOX: I graduated from Stockton College in Pomona, New Jersey. I am an
H.O.P.E. Mentor, for the Epilepsy Foundation. I have spoken at different events
for schools, organizations, political events, I spoke in front of Congress in
Washington and anywhere my help is needed to educate people about epilepsy. I
was on four talk shows. The interviews focused on the importance of
understanding what epilepsy is, how to help someone having a seizure and giving
people with epilepsy encouragement and hope for the future.
I have been on radio stations discussing epilepsy and I have appeared in many
newspapers all over New Jersey such as, The Leader, Belleville Post and the Star
Ledger. In addition, on June 26, 2002, I was honored an award by the Epilepsy
Foundation of New Jersey for Outstanding Volunteer Award.
BOOKS WRITTEN BY STACEY CHILLEMI :
Epilepsy You're Not Alone
Epilepsy You’re Not Alone is an inspirational self- help book that teaches
people with epilepsy how to live a healthy and productive life. The book shares
encouraging stories and gives readers a workable program for coping with their
disorder enabling readers to overcome their disorder and get on with their
lives.
www.iuniverse.com
Eternal Love: Romantic Poetry Straight from the Heart
How can I find a person to love and share the rest of my life? Will true love
come to me naturally? How can I build a relationship. The poems in my book
answer these questions. People are eager to find true love—love that will not
last a short period of time, but for a lifetime. Eternal Love is designed to
answer these questions and more. It is divided into two sections that correspond
with the way most people “experience” love: explanation of love (research) and
the love poems (using poems and love letters that I created). Each part
highlights a particular aspect of love, what love is, and how it can be
obtained.
www.publishamerica.com
My Mommy Has Epilepsy (Children's Book)
"My Mommy Has Epilepsy," helps educate children and help them understand what
they can do if a friend or love one is having a seizure. There are so many myths
that still roam through our society about epilepsy. gives children and their
family truth; medical facts explained in simplistic terminology so there is a
clear understanding about epilepsy.
www.lulu.com
Keep the Faith: To Live and Be Heard from the Heavens Above (poetry book)
A person does not survive by bread alone. Life requires other things, and Faith
and Love are amongst them. For many, perhaps for all, they are the only
important things we have that keep us going each morning as we awake and each
night as the sunsets. “Keep the Faith,” brings inspiration to people’s lives and
a direction to follow.
www.lulu.com
Live, Learn, and Be Happy with Epilepsy
“Live, Learn, and Be Happy with Epilepsy,” will be a 200-page book targeted for
individuals who have epilepsy. Unlike other books on epilepsy, it will focus on
The History of Epilepsy, Learning How to Cope with Your Epilepsy, What is
Epilepsy?, The Brain and Epilepsy, When Your Child Develops Epilepsy, Types of
Seizures, Epilepsy Medications and Treatments, How to Boost Your Self-Esteem,
Getting on with your Life, Learning How to Love Yourself Again, Say Goodbye to
Stress and Hello to Happiness, Our Dreams Are Our Future, Let Your Confidence Be
Your Strength, Worried, Lost, Confused?, How Keeping Yourself in Good Health Can
Help Your Epilepsy, Glossary for epilepsy, and a Resource Guide to
organizations, websites and other helpful resources.
www.lulu.com
Epilepsy and Pregnancy: What Every Women Should Know
Co-authored by Dr. Blanca Vasques. Through my efforts, I have been able to
show other women that it is not impossible to become a mother. I have given
women and couples hope and a new look on life. Epilepsy is just a disorder. Your
life does not end because you have epilepsy.
www.demosmedpub.com
I have received awards in my achievements and certificates in recognition for
outstanding efforts in trying to improve society. I have been an active
participant in organizations and activities. I have been a role model to many
individuals.
I have written many articles on epilepsy, such as How Exercise Can Help Your
Seizures, Coping with Epilepsy, Can Women with Epilepsy Have Babies and Why
Children Have Seizures. She has also written self-help articles, such as 10
Steps to Self-confidence, Seven Steps to Loving Yourself, 4 Steps to High
Self-esteem and Greatest relief for stress: Take some time each day for
yourself.
I have appeared three times on News 12 on the talk show New Jersey Women and
has had articles written about her efforts to help people with epilepsy. I have
contributed time in helping people with epilepsy and making society more aware
of the disorder. I have had epilepsy for 27 years.
My website
www.authorsden.com
You can find my website with samples of my work.